Hush little baby don't you cry,
Mommy's gonna sing you a lullaby;
And if that lullaby don't ryme,
Mommy's gonna buy you the gift of time;
And if that time don't run away,
Maybe you'll live for another day...
Oh, who am I kidding!! There is no way possible that my baby could live, even for another day; and it's all my fault (sobs) it's all my fault! How could I have done something like this; WHY DID I DO THIS!!
Today is two years from the day my baby would have been born, I would have had a little girl, exactly what I always wanted, what I always dreamed of having when I was a little girl. Shortly after the, well, abortion, I even picked out a name for her, Hope; I chose this name because her only hope for living was all depending on me having or not having that abortion. At the time, to me anyhow, all this abortion talk was simply a temporary solution to a permanent problem. It just all seemed so right. Ironic isn't it ?! When I finally get what I always wanted - I throw her away - LITERALLY; and I say this because after the abortion that's exactly where my baby went, a glorified "Trash Can".
I remember how this all first came about, almost as if it were yesterday. I was sitting at my house, and the next thing I knew the door bell rang. It was my girlfriend Mandy, she always came over the day after a date with her boyfriend; although this time, she was a little more enthusiastic than usual!?!
- "Kathy", she said, "you wouldn't believe what a wonderful
weekend I just had, I've never felt like this before in my life!!"
- "Really, well what did you do?"
- "Well, Tedd and I, after a lot of consideration and every
precaution anyone could possibly think of, well we had sex."
- "Oh really, that's great news. It hasn't torn you guys apart
though, has it ?"
- "Oh no, not in the slightest! As a matter of fact he called
me today and said that he wanted to take me out to dinner
at theOlive Garden next Friday. He said he needs to ask me
something, very important. You know Kathy, I really don't
understand why you and J.P. don't do it. With the proper
precautions, you're practically guanteed safe!"
- "Well, Mandy, it's not the guaranteed safe that worries me
it's the PRACTICALLY. I mean, what if, just what if I got
pregnant; I'd have no where to go, my parents would kick
me out of the house."
- "Who said that they had to know, there is such a thing as
an abortion, right?
- "Yeah, I guess you're right. But I still don't know, it's kind
- "Kathy, life is risky; at least sleep on it. I'll see ya later, I
got to get home for dinner."
I just can't see what the big deal was, why she insisted that my boyfriend and I had sex. I guess she was just trying to think of something that would make me happy. Strange thing is, she wasn't the only one giving me an "encouraging" push; I found out J.P. told her to talk with me about him and I having sex. I guess the reason he didn't come to me about it, is because he didn't want me to get offended. Having believed this I really believed he honestly and truely cared about me and my feelings. So of course I gave in. The night was perfect - we started off with dinner at the Boat House and then went on to see Phantom of the Opera. The best part was the dozen of roses he gave me, it was our two month aniversary. I remember those roses so well; on a card at the top of the bundle it said reasons I love you, and he listed at least a dozen reasons why he loved me. If only I hadn't been so blinded by those roses! Then I wouldn't have slept with him. But I did, and when I found out two months later I was pregnant, I let him know. He told me that this was the end if I didn't get an abortion, and I agreed with him I would, but not until I gave it some thought.
Well, I did give it thought; and I had my abortion when I began to show, which was about one month later. Unfortunately, J.P. really didn't care, because a week after my abortion he told me that things weren't the same, and our relationship was over. GOOD RIDDANCE !! WHO NEEDS SOME ONE LIKE HIM !!
I need him, I gave up my baby for him!
My precious hope, my precious precious little Hope.
I see you looking at me,
But you're not there.
I feel you touching me,
But you're not there!
My precious Hope, I need you;
But you're not here!
And when you needed me, I wasn't there;
That's why you aren't here, but I wish you were!
Hush little baby don't you cry,
Mommy's gonna sing you a lullaby...
Editor's Note: This short story was written when Charity Gallant was 19 years old. She saw what happened to girls around her and felt that the truth needs to be brought out. This story is meant to be a message of warning. Let's keep in mind that God has a message of love, mercy and redemption as well. Charity did remain a virgin till she got married at 27. They now have a beautiful baby boy.